2007 June: Bates

In the depths of the urban jungle, beyond all points of logic and reason, comes the first random ramblings from the newly formed Bates Family (♪♫ Dat dah Duhnnnn ♪♫♪).

Captain's Log
Stardate: 6th earth lunar cylce

Well, I know it's old hat news, but Tamara and I got married May 16th... but this newsletter is for June. So, we'll start out with Tamara and my big vacation (AKA Honeymoon). We flew to Rome, Italy on June 1st. We stayed there a few days, then in Florence, Lucca, Levanto, and once again in Rome. It was amazing and we saw lots of really cool old-stuff (to state it in the most understated way possible). The attached pictures serve as proof that we actually went and didn't just hide in someone's basement for a little over 2 weeks (I'll leave the Photoshop Forgery examination up to y'all). We returned on the 16th, and have spent the remainder of the month "vegging-out" (to use the common vernacular).

The other significant event was the establishment of headquarters. After much debate and possibility of government appropriation, we eventually decided to purchase HQ, located at 959 W 2100 N, Lehi, UT 84043. We should find out in the next few months whether or not UDOT will purchase it, flatten it, and make an ugly freeway over its grave.

I recently (Friday the 29th) returned from CFUnited, a conference I attended in Washington DC for my work. It was, above all else, a frustrating waste of time. It was interesting, and being in DC was kinda cool... but if I am expected to leave my wife for days at a time (Eons in Newly-Wed perception) in order to attend a conference, I better dang well learn something. I took the advanced track and learned nothing. But, perhaps they will have a Guru track next year... unfortunately I wont be there to find out.

Well, till next time... same bat-time, same bat-channel.
Cheers,
-Rob and Tamara (occasionally known as "Ramara")

P.S. My in-laws say "Hi."
P.P.S. I dunno exactly what the expected format for these Newsletters is, so I just kinda winged the first. I'm sure after I figure out a more exact template I'll write a program to observe us and write my newsletter for me... and then I shall Rule the World! Bwa haha!!! Or something. Whatever.
P.P.P.S. Us info:

Names: Robert Byron Bates & Tamara Rachel Van Bloem Bates
Address: 959 West 2100 North, Lehi, Utah 84043
B-Dates: Tamara (8 May 1986), Rob (6 July 1983)
Favorite Care Bears: ummm... I think there must have been a blue one, right? I'll go will blue-bear... -care... thingy.
Favorite Toe: Tamara (big toe [said after much indecisive debate]), Rob (Han-So-Toe from Thumb-Wars... or Toe-bacca).
First Word: Tamara ("I have no idea"), Rob (Tickle)
Social Security #s: 876-56-1123, 453-79-0987
CC#: 3599 8652 0165 2345, CCV 276
Favorite Opera Song: Tamara (The Song of the Pearl Fisherman), Rob (3 Blind Mice)
Favorite Ice Cream: Tamara (Ben & Jerry's "Chubby Hubby" w/ 5 billion calories), Rob (Dairy-free ["I'll get you next time..." Lactose Intolerance])
Super Power: Tamara (Subdivision Demolition), Rob (Eyeball Hypnotism [with the cool song that accompanies it: *see Jungle Book's "Kaa"])
Secret Identity: Tamara (Mild Mannered Subdivision Coordinator), Rob (Paranoid Pizza Delivery Guy)
Under Cover Role: Tamara (Hooker), Rob (Middle-Aged 60's Hippie)